Becoming a Grandmother Changed Me More Than I Expected
Becoming a grandmother didn’t just bring joy — it brought perspective. In this episode, Charlisa reflects on legacy, slowing down, healing forward, and redefining success beyond productivity. This is a conversation about presence, wisdom, and allowing life’s quieter seasons to teach you something new.
Reflection Questions:
- What is this season of your life asking you to slow down and notice?
- How do you define legacy beyond accomplishments?
- Where might stillness be offering you clarity?
Engage with Me:
I’d love to hear how this season of life is showing up for you.
Email me at receiptsreflections@gmail.com or message me on social media to continue the conversation.
The discourse elucidates the transformative impact of becoming a grandmother at the age of 45, a life phase that precipitates profound reflections on time, legacy, and the essence of presence. The speaker, who identifies herself as a grandmother, articulates how this new role transcends mere familial titles; it reshapes her understanding of urgency, healing, and the very nature of life itself. The experience of nurturing her grandchildren has not only brought immense joy but has also instilled a grounding sense of purpose, compelling her to reevaluate her past actions and interactions with her own children. This narrative emphasizes that the experience of grandparenthood can serve as a catalyst for personal evolution, fostering deeper connections and a more intentional approach to life.
Takeaways:
- The journey of becoming a grandmother profoundly reshapes one's perspective on life and legacy.
- Reflections on past experiences can lead to personal growth and a deeper understanding of self.
- Slowing down allows for greater presence and awareness of life's precious moments.
- Legacy is defined not by achievements, but by the quality of one's relationships and emotional regulation.
- The transition into grandparenthood encourages one to prioritize connection over productivity in daily life.
- Healing involves acknowledging past grief while actively choosing to cultivate a nurturing environment for future generations.
Mentioned in this episode:
Mylani Vegan Hair & Body Care
Clean, intentional hair and body care designed to nourish, restore, and simplify your routine. Explore the full collection at mylanibeauty.com.
Kuz I Cooks
Family-owned catering offering weekly dinner plates with pickup and delivery options in the Seattle and Federal Way area.
Transcript
Hey, friend.
Speaker A:Welcome to Receipts and Reflections after the Hustle.
Speaker A:This is a space for real conversations about life, business, healing, motherhood, and growth.
Speaker A:I'm Charlisa, and I've lived enough life to know that hustle might get you started, but reflection is what helps you evolve.
Speaker A:Some stories come with receipts because y' all know I keep me some receipts.
Speaker A:Some come with lessons.
Speaker A:Either way, you're safe here, friend.
Speaker A:So take a breath, get settled, and let's talk.
Speaker A:Hey, friend.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Receipts and Reflections after the Hustle.
Speaker A:Now, before we get into today's episode, I want to say this clearly.
Speaker A:This conversation is not really about age.
Speaker A:It's about perspective.
Speaker A:First of all, because I'm 45 years old, and I'm a Gigi.
Speaker A:Like, I am a grandmother of three.
Speaker A:So it's not about age.
Speaker A:It's about perspective.
Speaker A:Because becoming a grandmother didn't just give me a new title.
Speaker A:It changed how I see time, urgency, healing, and legacy.
Speaker A:And I really was not expecting that.
Speaker A:You know, my oldest Grandbaby just turned 8, and I'm still evolving and, like, getting, like, even deeper, deeper into this, like, Gigi hood.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:My youngest grandbaby, he just turned a year in October, and I kind of felt like this was my, like, do over, because I didn't feel like I had really fully like, embraced the whole Gigi thing.
Speaker A:Totally.
Speaker A:Primarily because I was under 40, and I was like, you know, I'm okay with being a grandmother, but I don't know, I'm still kind of young and popping, and I'm still also, like, fully raising kids right now, so I wasn't really quite in that GG mode.
Speaker A:But when this last one came along, baby, she's full fledged Gigi.
Speaker A:And that, you know, thankfully, my oldest gets to benefit, and then my daughter gets, you know, has a blended family, and so I have a bonus grandbaby, and I love him to pieces, too.
Speaker A:So I'm just really full fledged in this whole GG mode, you know, at.
Speaker A:At.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:How old am I?
Speaker A:Oh, yeah, I am.
Speaker A:I'm 45.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:I had to.
Speaker A:I had to think about that because I just had a birthday, y'.
Speaker A:All.
Speaker A: ,: Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah, I'm 45.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Anyway, I wasn't expecting y'.
Speaker A:All.
Speaker A:See, I'm still having a hard time with this.
Speaker A:I thought becoming a grandmother would be joyful.
Speaker A:Like, completely joyful.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And it is, but I just didn't expect it to be so grounding either.
Speaker A:Like, I didn't expect for it to slow me Down.
Speaker A:I didn't expect it to bring up reflection either.
Speaker A:Like not regret, but reflection sometimes some regrets.
Speaker A:Cuz there are some things I wish I could have done differently.
Speaker A:Like, I realized very quickly that this role wasn't about just doing more, it was about being more present, about making sure, like, listen, these kids is gonna know me.
Speaker A:Like, and that's also meaning being more present for my own children.
Speaker A:Because especially like my daughter, you know, I, I wanted to have that experience of going and nurturing her and being able to take care of her like once her and the baby came home.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:Like, yeah, you have a husband and everything.
Speaker A:That's cool.
Speaker A:That's cute.
Speaker A:That's, you know, but listen, I'm Gigi, so I needed to be present.
Speaker A:There's.
Speaker A:I'm not missing a birthday, I'm not missing Christmas, you know, we just finished celebrating Christmas.
Speaker A:I'm not missing Christmas.
Speaker A:I'm not going to miss these special moments.
Speaker A:I'm gonna come and pop up at your dough because I, I just happened to see these shoes that were on sale and you know, I mean, couldn't they always use some stuff, you know, like I'm, I'm gonna be that person, you know?
Speaker A:So when you spent most of your life in survival mode, time feels urgent.
Speaker A:So I know I'll be getting on my daughter's nerves because I'm like, but, but I gotta talk to them today.
Speaker A:I gotta.
Speaker A:What are you doing?
Speaker A:Okay, let me see the baby real quick because, you know, he might forget me tomorrow.
Speaker A:You know, kids is kind of flaky.
Speaker A:Kids be forgetting and then you know, one day they're giving you hugs and kisses and the next day they're like doing that little, little funky little where they turn they like body halfway and put that little elbow up.
Speaker A:Like, I don't know you, like, you know, I don't want that.
Speaker A:So I need you to make sure you pick up this phone.
Speaker A:I need you to understand how important it is that they know Gigi, you know, and that's kind of where I'm at with it.
Speaker A:And that's what, what.
Speaker A:You know, I think the mode that I get into sometimes, you guys know I'm a work in progress.
Speaker A:You guys know, we just talked about how it feels like when you're in survival mode and you know, and then you're also trying to make it right because you also realize that you might not have been like the perfect parent, which I'm still battling with.
Speaker A:But okay, we talked about that last episode.
Speaker A:If you haven't tuned in.
Speaker A:Definitely make sure you check out the last couple episodes because they're real good.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:So you also, you rush, you multitask.
Speaker A:You're always thinking about what is going to come next, right?
Speaker A:So when I help my grandchild, something shifted.
Speaker A:Like something changed.
Speaker A:Time slowed down.
Speaker A:Not because life stopped, but because I did.
Speaker A:I became more aware of how much I had been rushing through moments that deserved to be felt.
Speaker A:Felt like, oh, my God, that moment.
Speaker A:Like I say, I was there when my first grandbaby was born.
Speaker A:But I don't know, something about when you hold a child in your arms that your child had is crazy.
Speaker A:I remembered holding my baby like this, and now that baby done turned around and had some babies and, oh, my God, I think I like you better than I like my kid.
Speaker A:Oh, you're so cute.
Speaker A:Oh, and your neck smells so good.
Speaker A:Oh, my God, baby necks smell so good.
Speaker A:And they little feet.
Speaker A:Oh, my God, the best feeling.
Speaker A:Diani, have another baby.
Speaker A:Hurry up, have another baby, because I need to smell some baby neck.
Speaker A:Because that little toddler of yours just.
Speaker A:He don't even sit still no more.
Speaker A:I mean, I do love him, he's awesome, but he don't even sit still.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:Oh, my gosh, just now I get why Octa mom had autumn doggone kids, you know, because that feeling, oh, my God, it's amazing.
Speaker A:I don't want to have them, but I want people to have them.
Speaker A:And I hold them, smell their neck, play with their feet, buy them stuff that their mom said they can't have, and then dip Gigi Hood.
Speaker A:Big Gigi, not the little one.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Becoming a grandmother changed how I think about legacy.
Speaker A:Legacy stopped being about what I accomplished.
Speaker A:It stopped being about my Lonnie and having something to hand down to them.
Speaker A:It stopped being about productivity, hustle, or, like, proving anything.
Speaker A:It became about regulation.
Speaker A:How I speak when I'm tired, how I respond when I'm triggered, how I care for myself when no one's watching.
Speaker A:Because I gotta be around for these kids, and that's what gets passed down.
Speaker A:I don't want to be the person who passes down more generational trauma.
Speaker A:I don't want to be.
Speaker A:See, you know, it started with her, you know, I mean, you know, your grandma used to be something else.
Speaker A:Like, I don't want that.
Speaker A:So I had to check myself because I want good things to get past him, you know?
Speaker A:Now, here's something I want to say gently but honestly.
Speaker A:Becoming a grandmother also stirred up grief.
Speaker A:Not regret, but grief.
Speaker A:Grief for the versions of Myself that were parenting while surviving like grief.
Speaker A:For moments, I rushed through because I didn't know how to slow down yet.
Speaker A:But instead of staying stuck in that grief, I felt invited to heal, forward, to apply what I've learned, not punish myself.
Speaker A:Remember we talked about this last episode?
Speaker A:I'm not punishing myself for what I didn't know.
Speaker A:Now, let me break this down, because this matters.
Speaker A:What I didn't know then are a few things that constant urgency is going to steal Presence.
Speaker A:That survival also, like, makes stillness feel unsafe.
Speaker A:And that slowing down is a skill.
Speaker A:It's not failure now.
Speaker A:What I know now is that presence is powerful.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:Regulation is your legacy.
Speaker A:And rest teaches more than resting ever did.
Speaker A:Back then, I thought slowing down meant that I was going to be falling behind.
Speaker A:Now I know that it just means I'm seeing clearly.
Speaker A:Slowing down gives you clarity.
Speaker A:Now, sis, let me talk to you for a quick little moment.
Speaker A:If you're in the season where life is asking you to slow down, I want you to do me and you a favor.
Speaker A:And I want you to listen.
Speaker A:Not every pause is a setback.
Speaker A:Not every quiet season is loss.
Speaker A:Sometimes it's wisdom catching up to you.
Speaker B:You don't have to rush through becoming.
Speaker A:And you don't have to prove your worth by staying busy.
Speaker A:Now, I don't move the same anymore.
Speaker A:I don't rush the same.
Speaker A:I don't panic the same.
Speaker A:And I don't chase the same.
Speaker A:And slowing down didn't make my life any smaller.
Speaker A:It made it fuller.
Speaker A:And it really, honestly made room for.
Speaker B:Reflection, connection, and also some more intentional living.
Speaker A:Now, let me say this again, because repetition helps it sink in.
Speaker B:Legacy is not perfection.
Speaker B:Legacy is presence.
Speaker B:Legacy is how you show up when you're tired.
Speaker B:Legacy is how you regulate your nervous system.
Speaker B:Legacy is how you model healing.
Speaker B:Not the hustle and not dysfunction.
Speaker B:Before we close, I want you to sit with this gently.
Speaker B:Now, listen, girl, you better have that $50 journal by this point, okay?
Speaker B:And again, you can definitely DM me or you can also email me.
Speaker B:It's going to be in the show notes, and we can have this conversation.
Speaker B:But I also want you to sit with yourself and say this with yourself gently, okay?
Speaker B:And reflect on this.
Speaker B:What is this season of your life asking you to slow down and see differently.
Speaker B:And what might become possible if you listened to.
Speaker B:You do not have to hurry through this chapter.
Speaker B:Like I said in another episode, sis, you're safe.
Speaker B:It's okay to be still.
Speaker B:And some of the most meaningful work happens quietly.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker A:I'm so proud of you.
Speaker B:I'm so happy that you're here.
Speaker B:And I cannot wait to meet you back here next Monday.
Speaker B:Until next time, bestie.
Speaker A:Before we close, thank you for sharing this moment with me.
Speaker A:If something from today's episode stayed with you, whether it be a thought, a feeling, a.
Speaker A:A reflection, I hope you give yourself space to sit with it.
Speaker A:These conversations are meant to meet you where you are, not to rush you, and definitely not to fix you.
Speaker A:Be gentle with yourself this week, sis.
Speaker A:I'll meet you right back here next Monday.
Speaker A:This is Receipts and Reflections.
Speaker A:After the Hustle.
Speaker A:Because after the Hustle, we slow down and we choose peace.
