I Should’ve Said No… But I Said Yes Anyway
You ever said yes to something…
and immediately felt it in your spirit that you shouldn’t have?
Not five minutes later.
Not later that night.
Immediately.
In this episode, we’re talking about those moments where you agree to something out of habit, pressure, or just trying to be “easy to deal with”… even when it doesn’t feel right.
From overcommitting… to ignoring your intuition… to realizing you’ve been saying yes in situations that actually require a no — this is about getting honest with yourself and learning to trust that first feeling.
Because most of the time?
You already knew.
✨ WHAT YOU’LL REFLECT ON:
- Why you say yes when you really mean no
- What your body and intuition are trying to tell you
- The cost of overcommitting yourself
- How to pause before agreeing
Mentioned in this episode:
Second season Outro
Season 2 Intro
2nd season Mylani commercial- short version
Transcript
Hey, friend.
Speaker A:Hey.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Receipts and Reflections after the Hustle.
Speaker A:All right, now we gonna start off easy before I get all up in your business.
Speaker A:You ever said yes to something and immediately after you felt it, not five minutes later, not later that night, I mean, instantly, you still in the conversation, and your brain is already like, now, what if I just.
Speaker A:Why did I agree to that?
Speaker A:So take a breath because I know I. Oh, I'm not the only one.
Speaker A:And you smiling on the outside, nodding your head, acting agreeable, and internally, you don't already checked out.
Speaker A:Now, let's be honest.
Speaker A:You know, I.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The urge, the natural black urge to sing that song.
Speaker A:Okay, I'm not gonn this episode.
Speaker A:I'm not gonna do it this episode.
Speaker A:But anyway, let's be honest.
Speaker A:That moment right there, that's not random, sis.
Speaker A:That's a pattern.
Speaker A:You know how when you sit in the chair and you come in with a whole plan, a whole bunch of Pinterest pictures, you don't went and looked up all them doggone AI pictures, and you know what you want, you just sure of it.
Speaker A:You got all of the things and you are so clear.
Speaker A:And then as we start talking, you suddenly start saying, well, you know, it really doesn't have to be that.
Speaker A:I'm open.
Speaker A:You can do whatever.
Speaker A:You know, you're the stylist, I trust you.
Speaker A:And I just sit there and pause.
Speaker A:I might be behind the chair rolling my eyes a little bit.
Speaker A:I'm be honest, I'd be rolling my eyes because y' all get on my nerves sometimes.
Speaker A:I love you, okay?
Speaker A:I love y', all, but y' all be stressing me out.
Speaker A:And I just look at you like, friend, where did you go?
Speaker A:Now that type of moment, that's what we're having today.
Speaker A:Because a lot of you are not slowly losing yourself over time.
Speaker A:You are talking yourself out of yourself in real time.
Speaker A:And then you're calling it compromise.
Speaker A:Compromise.
Speaker A:Now, let me ask you something.
Speaker A:Now I'm about to get in your business.
Speaker A:When you make decisions, do you actually check in with yourself first?
Speaker A:Or do you respond based on the moment?
Speaker A:The other person, maybe, or just what feels easiest?
Speaker A:What's the most pleasant right now?
Speaker A:And then later, you like the whole drive home, you deal with how you really actually feel.
Speaker A:You lay there at night, especially if you're going through perimenopause and you have insomnia, like somebody that we know, you lay there and you think of all the things and you just sit with that, okay?
Speaker A:And you just be like, now why?
Speaker A:Why the hell?
Speaker A:What the hell?
Speaker A:Now, let's make this real.
Speaker A:You make plans.
Speaker A:You're excited.
Speaker A:You've already decided what you want to do.
Speaker A:And then the other person says, you know, I just don't really feel like that.
Speaker A:So instead of pausing, instead of saying, well, I still want to go, you immediately say, you know, it's fine.
Speaker A:We could do something else.
Speaker A:Now, let's be honest.
Speaker A:I ain't gonna do it.
Speaker A:I ain't gonna.
Speaker A:I ain't gonna do it, y'.
Speaker A:All, that wasn't compromise.
Speaker A:That was you abandoning your preference.
Speaker A:And you did it so fast, you didn't even notice it.
Speaker A:Like, in the blink of an eye, just right there.
Speaker A:Or here goes another one.
Speaker A:You're asked a question, okay, follow me, y'.
Speaker A:All.
Speaker A:Something simple.
Speaker A:Just something real simple.
Speaker A:What do you want to eat?
Speaker A:What do you want to do?
Speaker A:And instead of answering honestly, you say, you know, I don't care.
Speaker A:We always care.
Speaker A:You do care.
Speaker A:You just don't want to seem difficult.
Speaker A:You don't want to create tension, or you just don't want to take up too much space.
Speaker A:So you remove yourself from the decision, and we gonna say it very clearly.
Speaker A:You didn't get overlooked in that moment.
Speaker A:You removed yourself.
Speaker A:You betrayed yourself.
Speaker A:And I'm not saying that to make you feel bad at all this.
Speaker A:Remember, this is a safe space.
Speaker A:It always has been.
Speaker A:We.
Speaker A:But we're being real with each other here, right?
Speaker A:I'm gonna say it real clear just so that you can see it, because once you see it, then you're going to be able to change it.
Speaker A:So let me tell you something, sis.
Speaker A:There were times.
Speaker A:I'm gonna go ahead and tell myself real quick, okay?
Speaker A:There were times that I agreed to things, and the moment that I said yes, I knew.
Speaker A:I knew I didn't want to do it.
Speaker A:I would say 9 out of 10 of invites that I get.
Speaker A:I. I don't wanna.
Speaker A:I don't want to go.
Speaker A:I don't want to go.
Speaker A:I don't want to do it.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:You know, I just know that I don't want to.
Speaker A:For some reason, nine times out of those 10 times, I somehow say, yeah, that sounds great, you know?
Speaker A:And in most cases, instead of correcting it, I followed through.
Speaker A:And the entire time, my energy was completely off.
Speaker A:It just was.
Speaker A:I just didn't feel like myself.
Speaker A:I wasn't enjoying myself.
Speaker A:I was physically present, okay?
Speaker A:I was there.
Speaker A:I. I probably threw that stuff on maybe, cuz, you know, she loved dress.
Speaker A:She loved to put that stuff on.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:I Was there.
Speaker A:But mentally I had already checked out.
Speaker A:And later I had to sit with myself and say, okay, what just happened?
Speaker A:Because it is so easy to say they didn't even consider me.
Speaker A:They weren't even thinking about me.
Speaker A:But okay, let's be real.
Speaker A:The truth was I didn't even give them the opportunity to.
Speaker A:That right there.
Speaker A:That right there was a gut punch to myself.
Speaker A:Okay, that part took accountability.
Speaker A:So we're going to talk about why this happens.
Speaker A:Because some of us move fast.
Speaker A:Some of us are very just like impulsive.
Speaker A:We respond quickly, we adjust quickly, we accommodate quickly.
Speaker A:It's just like it's a natural trait because we really have grown accustomed and we don't feel like discomfort.
Speaker A:We don't want to deal with the awkwardness.
Speaker A:We don't want to deal with disappointing people.
Speaker A:So instead of pausing, we just go ahead and smooth things over.
Speaker A:We just gonna just brush right on over, make it look cute.
Speaker A:Make it look real cute.
Speaker A:But here's the cost.
Speaker A:You might have avoided discomfort in that moment, but you created discomfort for yourself later.
Speaker A:And we're gonna go ahead and be all the way, crystal clear.
Speaker A:This is not just in romantic situations.
Speaker A:Some of you are doing this also in your friendships.
Speaker A:You go along with plans that you really don't want.
Speaker A:You don't say how you really feel.
Speaker A:You adjust to keep things easy.
Speaker A:And then later you feel drained.
Speaker A:And in business, it's the same thing.
Speaker A:You lower your price mid conversation.
Speaker A:You go ahead and add extra services.
Speaker A:You over explain your value because you felt the shift.
Speaker A:And instead of staying grounded, you adjusted.
Speaker A:And I'm going to go ahead and really say this clearly.
Speaker A:Compromise is a conversation.
Speaker A:What you have been doing is a decision, and you've been making it by yourself.
Speaker A:Real compromise really does include you.
Speaker A:Now I'm gonna bring it on back to you, okay?
Speaker A:This week, I want you to practice just one thing, One simple thing.
Speaker A:And before you say yes, before you say yes, before you adjust, before you respond, I want you to ask yourself, do I actually want this?
Speaker A:Not is this easier or will this make them happy?
Speaker A:I want you to ask yourself, because you're the voice that matters, do I want this?
Speaker A:And if the answer is no, especially if it is a, I don't know, practice saying, actually, you know what?
Speaker A:I'd actually prefer this.
Speaker A:And you don't even need no long explanation.
Speaker A:You don't, you don't owe them no freaking explanation.
Speaker A:I promise.
Speaker A:You don't even need to justify.
Speaker A:Well, you know, because what, sis?
Speaker A:You don't need to justify a Doggone thing.
Speaker A:I just need you to have a real conversation with yourself.
Speaker A:And I want you to practice telling yourself.
Speaker A:And also whoever it is that has put you in the position that you feel like you need to compromise, because they have grown very accustomed to that person.
Speaker A:I just want you to practice telling the truth.
Speaker A:Just tell them the truth.
Speaker A:Okay, now, before we go, because we almost about it here, we're gonna go ahead and slow this down.
Speaker A:Now, this is really not about being difficult.
Speaker A:I don't want you to feel like, you know what?
Speaker A:I'm in my you know what mode and anybody gonna tell.
Speaker A:I don't even want you to come with that type of energy.
Speaker A:I just want you to slowly start adjusting to being real with yourself and honoring yourself.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:This is just about being honest.
Speaker A:It's not about being that difficult person.
Speaker A:Because every time that you override yourself, you move further and further away from yourself.
Speaker A:And over time, that adds up.
Speaker A:And before you know it, you are lost and you have no idea how to get back to you.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:So this week, stay connected to your voice.
Speaker A:Tap into that throat chakra boogie, okay?
Speaker A:And I want you to stay connected to your voice.
Speaker A:Notice your yes.
Speaker A:Notice your hesitation.
Speaker A:Notice your truth.
Speaker A:And when you catch it, don't judge yourself.
Speaker A:Remember, we being gentle.
Speaker A:Don't judge yourself.
Speaker A:We listen.
Speaker A:We don't judge.
Speaker A:That means even to ourselves, okay?
Speaker A:And just say, I see it.
Speaker A:There it is right there.
Speaker A:I see it.
Speaker A:Because awareness is where everything shifts.
Speaker A:So be gentle with yourself this week.
Speaker A:You're not learning how to push people away.
Speaker A:You're learning how to just include yourself.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:And that matters.
Speaker A:You matter.
Speaker A:Okay, friend?
Speaker A:All right, Go and take your time.
Speaker A:Slow your responses.
Speaker A:Stay grounded in yourself.
Speaker A:And like we used to say at First Baptist Church, okay?
Speaker A:Until we meet again, I love you guys so much, okay?
Speaker A:And I will see you back here next Monday.
